Wednesday, June 27, 2007

holiday inn????

Can you believe I'm currently staying in a Holiday Inn?? Whilst I would much rather be sticking forks into my eyes I currently have no choice. I am suffering the indignity of a layover in Washington in what is probably the most boring part - about 10 kms outside of the airport.

Last night (or at least I think it was last night - with the time changes and the not sleeping I'm a little hazy about it all.) I left London bound for Mexico. I have had almost no sleep for around 38 hours.

I just had to ask the woman at the next computer where I was. She looked at me a little strangely and said the Hotel Business Centre and I said no...where in the country am I.

I can't accurately describe her next look.

But all was going well until we taxied out onto the runway at Heathrow. I had previously decided that as I had a flight around half seven in the morning which necessitated checking in 3 hours before hand, plus an hour to travel from Clapham Junction to the airport, going to bed on Monday night really wasn't worth it. So I did the infamous "all-nighter".

I planned on sleeping on the plane. Silly me.

Anyway back to the runway, apparently a door on the plane hadnt shut properly so they sent 6 technicians on board to try and fix it. I had to get out of my seat so one of them could lie on the floor face up under my seat like a mechanic checking your universal joint (thats a car term I picked up somewhere... or at least I hope it is.) Another couple had stripped panels off one of the emergency doors and were 'tinkering'. (No REALLY - they were tinkering - you know when people stick there heads into various broken things with flashlights and prod randomly in the forlorn hope that it will miraculously fix the problem. Thats exactly what they were doing.)

Well three hours of tinkering seemed to do the job and we finally took off. It also meant that I missed my connection to Cancun. My resulting experience with United Airlines Customer Service was then like an episode of Seinfeld, and I had a patronising minion pack me off to the Holiday Inn.

I have been here three hours already and have only just been able to access the computer as the entire region has been plunged into darkness as a fierce thunderstorm wiped out the power grid.

United Airline BTW - crap airline faulty doors not withstanding. I know airline food supplies half the world comedians with jokes, but really, my food (I use the term loosely) was appalling. It wasn't breakfast - it was punishment.

And so - here I am in the sterile confines of a chain hotel surrounded by faux luxury with no luggage and 2 day old underpants. Cant even use the pool as my B.S's* are in my backpack which is somewhere that is not here.
(* B.S's = Budgie Smugglers, Aust. slang for Speedos)

Now I need to go to my room and unfold all the towels and open all the guest soaps for the sheer pointlessness of it.

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